Riding the Waves
Life is tough right now. I get it. Raising kids, working, “adulting” is tough under the best of circumstances and now suddenly we are all in the middle of a sci-fi movie, wearing masks and running from an invisible viral enemy.
No wonder we are stressed.
So how do we manage in uncertain times? How do we keep our cool and stay sane
Truthfully it’s ok to lose your cool. In fact, it’s healthy to let off steam. We tend to think we need to have it all together all the time. That is a myth! You need to lose it and let it go - in healthy ways - otherwise the stress bubbles up inside us and manifests in illness, headaches ,weight gain or loss, nausea, self-medication, irritability, loss of healthy relationships.
The key is to be honest with yourself. If you’re feeling low that’s ok! Acknowledge it and let it be. Feelings are like waves. They come and go. The important piece is to let them cycle through. Otherwise, they get stuck inside us and cause mental and physical stress and illness.
In western culture we tend to praise over-working, not taking breaks and doing it “all “. We get kudos for working longer hours, sleeping less and maxing ourselves out. Tears, vulnerability, and asking for help are seen as signs of weakness.
In truth, tears are cathartic - our body’s natural way of detoxifying and cleansing. Asking for help is actually a true sign of inner strength because you are identifying what you need and asking for help in getting it.
Showing vulnerability and sharing with someone else increases connection with others. Oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the “love hormone” is a natural chemical in our body. It helps us form social bonds and increase trust. When we connect with others, our oxytocin level increases, and literally, makes us feel better, with increased energy and a sense of hope.
So how do we manage the hard stuff in our daily lives?
Acknowledge and allow your feelings
I know many of you are thinking “Ick! Those pesky feelings!” You’re a human being and feelings are part of the deal. They’re not going to go away by squashing them down. Instead of feeling defeated by your feelings, appreciate the fact that you are human and have the ability to feel and connect, even when you might feel less than fabulous.
LABEL them to yourself or write them down or tell a friend
Labeling the feeling can take the overwhelming power out of it and give you a bit of space. Example “I’m feeling sad” - There. You label it and allow it to be for now.
Don’t try and fix or change your feelings
Feelings are there because we are human. Allow and accept. Don’t try to change or fix. Remember, the feelings do NOT have ultimate power over you.
Feelings = The wave
Remember that the wave will pass. Post a photo of a wave in your room or office or on your phone. Know that the feelings will pass. You are the ocean and the waves need to pass through you.
Share with someone
The benefit of confiding and sharing with someone is immense. Connecting with another person boosts your oxytocin which results in more hope and energy and reduces the sense of isolation.
You’re not alone
I promise you that however you are feeling, you are NOT the only person who has felt this way and it will NOT last.
Breathe. You got this.
Tamar
