Parenting Kids in Uncertain Times
Hey y’all
Anyone else feeling burned out? Like completely drained, done with this Covid situation, exhausted from homeschooling/ zooming/ keeping track of the latest recommended protocols? Not to mention if you’re a parent trying to maintain some sort of normalcy for your kids - who might also be feeling anxious?
There’s an underlying feeling of anxiety and unsettled ness in the world today and if you feel it permeating your life that’s because you are human!
I work with a lot of kids and I’m a mom of two kids - one of whom is highly anxious and both of whom are super sensitive and perceptive. So as a parent, I get it. What do we do? It’s hard to keep saying “don’t worry it’s all ok” when we are bombarded with news that it isn’t all ok. It’s hard to reassure kids when the grownups don’t have the answers. And the truth is the grownups don’t! We don’t know what’s next and that’s the part we need to acknowledge. So how do we support our kids?
This can apply to all kinds of uncertain times. Life is about change, unpredictability and not knowing what’s next: divorce, death, sickness, family moves… all of these things can trigger a sense of uncertainty and insecurity. So how do we help our kids?
1. Be honest according to their age/developmental level. For example, if you’re going through divorce and you don’t yet know what the parental schedule will be you can say “we don’t yet know which days you’ll be with mom/dad. We do know that we both love you and we will both always be your parents.”
2. Keep it tangible - old fashioned calendar / paper on the fridge so that kids can see the schedule of the day/week/month helps to calm anxiety.
3. Help kids identify what they have control over vs what they don’t. For example with Covid/ illness etc: we have control over washing our hands, wearing masks, taking precautions. We don’t have control over the virus itself. Don’t spin into anxiety over what we can’t control. Focus on the steps that are in our daily life.
And remember- It’s ok to not know!
Grownups don’t have all the answers and that’s ok. Explain to kids the info that you do have and listen to their questions. Let kids express their questions and then you can help them research to find the answers.
Most importantly be easy on yourself - if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, irritable that’s understandable and it’s ok. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself breaks. Don’t feel you have to have all the answers or have it all under control. That’s just not possible.
Breathe. You got this.
Tamar
