Goal Setting
New Year’s is notorious for being a time to set new goals. There is something about feeling like we have a fresh start, a clean slate, a new beginning. Then come February, we find ourselves back to the same old. We haven’t lost the pounds we wanted to and though we may have started off going to the gym every day, now it seems we never have time. We started off excitedly writing that book we have always wanted to produce. But slowly, the writing tapers off, we get stuck in “writer’s block” and soon the laundry, our job, kids and daily life invades our writing time until it peeters out.
Then we may start feeling crappy. We may feel guilt and shame. But most of all, we may feel stuck. We can feel like we are failing, like we can’t change, or like it’s not “gonna happen for me”.
Change takes time. Change happens incrementally and is dependent on forming new sustainable habits. Our brains don’t like change. We are wired to do the “same old”. Our brains don’t care about what size dress we are or whether we actually write that novel. Our brains are wired to help us survive.
So how do we make those changes that we want to feel more fulfilled and happy? By forming new sustainable habits.
Here are some steps that can help you:
Imagine what you want six months or even a year from now. Where are you? What do you want to be different? What does it feel like, look like? Write down what you want. Get it out of your head and onto some paper. Draw, write, doodle. Don’t judge yourself about how you will get there. Take some time to journal what you want, where you would like to be, what you want your life to look like. Be as free and creative as you can! Most of all, make it come alive to you now.
What will you get out of these changes?
Example A; If in 6 months you are X pounds lighter, what does that give you? How will you feel? Who will you be? Visualization is key here.
Example B; You think “If I get a new job, my life will be better”. Dig into what will be better. Will you have more money which relieves the stress? So then what you actually want is less financial stress. Will you feel more inspired, more connected with your true skills and strengths? Then what you actually want is to be doing work that connects with your inner purpose.
GETTING TO THE GOAL:
There are several key parts to making the goal a reality.
Set a realistic goal - Dream big but make the goal something you can see happening for you.
List your action steps - what steps do you need to take to get to this? Break them down into small chunks. Then break them further down into tiny tasks that will take under an hour.
Make it manageable and achievable - your steps MUST be manageable. If you want to lose weight, set a reasonable time frame and go slow. You will feel more accomplished by setting small very achievable steps and accomplishing them, rather than aiming high and feeling disappointed when you don’t achieve it.
Find your accountability and support - check in with a friend, a coach, someone to keep you accountable. This is not about shame and blame. This is about support that you can do it.
Be prepared for setbacks: Decide ahead of time how you’re going to handle obstacles. When the alarm goes off and every cell in your body says “I don’t want to go to the gym” (even though you know you have that great feel good buzz after) what is going to get you up and to the gym?
Change isn’t easy because naturally we are wired to resist it. The key is to be kind to yourself, show up consistently, and take mini steps. You deserve to live the life you want. You were put on this earth to share your unique talents, creativity and skills. You are not meant to live small, in fear, sadness, guilt or shame. You are meant to step into your fullest, most vibrant self.
Breathe. You’ve got this.
Tamar
